ToyCyte: Toy Culture Collected

So, your mantelpiece is looking a little barren this year. The dog ate your little porcelain Jesus, and the candlesitcks are someplace in the attic, buried under a shantytown’s worth of tattered coats. You do, however, have a printer this computer, so before it’s too late, make something special happen.

Lord knows that my family has puts the styrofoam-headed Santa I made when I was five on display every year and acts as if it’s my latest, greatest work. Anything to replace that googly-eyed monstrosity.

So, this simple paper house might not be too ‘designer’ or ‘artsy’, but it  makes a good centerpiece, and by contrast, your other paper guys will be suitably bizarre and enormous by comparison. Shift those Christmas paradigms!

Start with this cubic snowman. Can you feel the paradigms shifting? Does it feel just right?

… and complement it with these super-boxy presents, Santa and reindeer. You’re gonna have to print out that reindeer eight times if you plan on keeping it biblical.

I’ve always found those chompy nutcracker guys to be especially unnerving, as well as Paul McCartney’s brain-bendingly eerie ‘Wonderful Christmas Time’ song. That’s right up there with the opening music in Metroid for All Time Scariest Songs Ever.

‘Goo’ over in Japan is dropping a few holiday crafts to round out the mantel also. Normally ‘goo’ and ‘Japan’ is a scary combination of things that you accidentally click on while surfing the internet, but this is safe. Promise.

The holiday-themed Jingle Cats are more along the ‘designer’ route again, complete with that pesky ‘chewin’ on the Christmas lights’ cat.

… and Macula never fails to excite with their really, really cute & simple holiday craft characters. Santa & his elves are ready to print and go.

And if you really have to, here’s a Princess Zelda all garbed in Christmas themes. Don’t nerd out too hard, though.

And of course, don’t hesitate to crack open the ol’ Nightmare Before Chistmas toys and spread ‘em around. It’s not Christmas until someone’s exposed skull is on the mantel. It’s tradition.