custoMONDAY: Win a Custom Plush by Cuddly Rigor Mortis

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custoMONDAY: Win a Custom Plush by Cuddly Rigor Mortis

Mon, Jun 8, 2009

About Cuddly Rigor Mortis

2008 was the year that changed my mind about designer plush. It began with the innocent-enough acquisition of two items: A Curster Yeti by Erin Currie and Frank by Kristin Tercek (aka Cuddly Rigor Mortis). Following that, my mind, and the floodgates, were open to plush. I kept in touch with Kris and watched as new creatures were born into the Cuddly Rigor Mortis stable. You can see how her interests in Japanese culture, animation and horror movies are reflected in the detailed dolls. And detailed they are: each of the sizable hand-sewn plushes comes with extra touches like embroidery and a birth certificate. If that conjures up an image of an Xavier Robert’s signature, hello to everyone else who was born in the late 70s! But with designs based on Universal Monsters and New Jersey lore, these ain’t no Cabbage Patch Kids. You can find the CRM crew on Facebook, or you can enter here to win a 13 x 15-inch custom Anubis plush in…

The Contest

Want to win this custom Anubis plush? Here’s how: Since Anubis was the Egyptian god of death and mummification, what sort of funeral would you like to have? Leave your idea in the comments section below. Kris will pick the best funeral concept and send the morbid toy fan the Anubis.

Please post your comment by June 21st at midnight PST. We will declare the winner on June 22nd, shortly before the next custoMONDAY. The contest is open to anyone, anywhere in the world. If you have already won a custoMONDAY in 2009, please feel free to share your creativity, but you are, regrettably, not eligible for the prize.

The Interview

When and how did Cuddly Rigor Mortis come about?

In 2004, I was faced with a relatively boring, humid NJ summer. I thought that my love of designer toys and plush could provide a distraction. So with no prior sewing skills, I started trying to make a plush toy. After a month of trying different designs, Mummy was born and my husband, Ed Mironiuk, encouraged me to keep going. I let the originals sit in our spare room for a year before Ed kicked me in the butt to get them ‘out there’. The response has been pretty surprising since I really haven’t promoted it and took it purely as a hobby.

Who in the CRM stable have been your favorite characters? Who was the toughest to make?

Every time I finish a Woofman I love him a bit more, but I curse making him. NJ Devil is a similar one: 22 pieces to trace, cut and stitch together is a tough thing to do. For me at least! But for hands-down all time toughest to make it’s absolutely a tie between Woofbot and Odin. Mold-making and stud-setting are tough when you’re not used to it.

How did the opportunity to license CRM happen, and where can ToyCyte readers find them?

We were already dealing with a company who were licensing Ed’s artwork for stickers. We then brought up CRM to them, figuring they might license the illustrations of the characters, but they wanted to make the dolls. www.yujean.com is the place to buy them.

Have you noticed an explosion in plush toys over the last couple years? Got any favorites?

There absolutely was an explosion, but it seemed to be about 4 or 5 years ago right around when I started CRM. Lots of little plush companies sprouted up along with loads of people pushing their wares on Etsy. But it was always a tough sell. I don’t think plush ever got the same response as vinyl did. It’s always been a matter of explaining to people that these are pieces of art to us and not a Beanie Baby. Plush artists don’t have scads of cheap labor to harness, and it usually comes down to one person designing, buying supplies, tracing, cutting patterns, sewing and shipping each and every plush. Yet, it’s difficult to ask the same price that you would get for an original painting that took the same amount of time. I think because of this and the current economic woes we all seem to be having, lots of my favorites have closed up shop and moved on. With that said, my first loves were: Friends With You, Anna Chambers and Ugly Dolls. I also have soft (or vinyl) spots for Murakami, Nagi Noda, Nathan Jurevicius, Tim Biskup, Kaws, Junko Mizuno, Tokidoki, Kathie Olivas and Tado.

Who makes up the CRM collector demographic?

We have always been amazed at the sheer diversity of our collectors. We have never been able to pinpoint just one demographic because it really is across the board. I’ve gotten emails from 6 year old boys and girls, all the way up to men and women in the military. And not just any military personnel but combat medics and special forces snipers. Hardcore men and women who get a smile from my plush work. I’m thankful everyday that the people who risk their lives to keep me safe get a kick out of my work. That and the kids. Ed and I don’t have any kids (just two chihuahuas) and never wanted them, but I get the biggest kick out of fan mail from kids. They make up stories, draw me pictures and come up with new characters. So cool. I wouldn’t have continued sewing for this long if I didn’t have so many amazing fans.

Say something that makes me miss New Jersey.

Guido-watching down the shore, you don’t have to pump your own gas and fried egg and pork roll sandwiches at the diner. Wow. I can’t believe I came up with three…

Please offer a sentence or two of advice to our governing bodies.

Please don’t forget about us. The people out there on our own, making our own work, starting or trying to keep their small businesses afloat. Our lives are tough enough as it is without having to fork over a mortgage-sized payment to get health insurance. Or having to deal with government regulations that completely disregard the fact that some businesses are just one person. The new CPSIA toy laws are making life miserable for small indie kid’s toy makers. Indie, arty, designer small businesses are the ones who never had a problem with lead paint–it was the huge Chinese manufacturers. Ugh…stop looking solely at fixing the huge corporations and start looking at HELPING the small businesses of America. We love this country too! (Anyone interested in seeing what the CPSIA is all about and how they can help small businesses please visit http://www.handmadetoyalliance.org)

What’s next for you and Cuddly Rigor Mortis?

I have always loved to paint. But instead of art school I went to NYU filmschool, animated, started an ink and paint business with Ed [Editor's note: they are responsible for the Saturday TV Funhouse shorts on SNL!] and then sewed plush toys. I love CRM. It’s a perfect reflection of me: Cute but deep down there’s something dark. So I’ve decided to start painting again and take a breather from the 25+ plush designs I usually have up in my shop at all times. I will keep the plush simple so I can start to explore other avenues for CRM like prints, T-shirts and a childrens’ book. Hopefully my fans will come along for the journey because that’s exactly what it is for me. I’m honestly not sure where it will end up but it’s so fun right now I can’t help but be excited.

Awesome! If anyone has a good T-shirt printing company suggestion for Kris, leave her a message in the comments. And the rest of you: start planning your funerals below. Best of luck with that!

Cuddly Rigor Mortis, custoMONDAYs

This post was written by:

Jeremy Brautman - who has written 1965 posts on ToyCyte: Toy Culture Collected.

Jeremy Brautman joined ToyCyte in 2008 and has been writing about toy culture ever since. You can currently find him contributing to a variety of blogs, artkiving doodles at Doodlesplatter.com and cataloging artistic ephemera at ARTkivers.com.

Contact the author

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29 Comments For This Post

KK Says:
June 8th, 2009 at 2:49 pm

First and foremost I want everyone to eat me.

I have been taking reservations on my body parts for a few years. Some people have chosen to eat my heart while others prefer to snort my ashes. The idea is that I am ingested somehow.

So, immediately upon my death I need all of my organs harvested along with any specialty foods like my lips or balls.

I’m guessing there will be a large portion of my husk remaining and for the viewing, those remains are to be positioned in my coffin so that I’m sitting up with my face toward the audience. My eyes are to be propped open and my mouth fixed into a grin.

There will be a recording of myself singing “Feelin’ Good” and no one can wear black.

Kristin Tercek Says:
June 8th, 2009 at 2:49 pm

Thanks so much Jeremy and we will miss your presence here! I hope that everyone has fun with the contest.

Irielle Charles Says:
June 8th, 2009 at 5:17 pm

At my funeral I want to be the best looking person(corpse) there so everyone must come looking their absolute worst. Im the only one who can wear black and everyone else can just wear a unisex burlap potato sack.My empty corpse would be suspended with a few ropes and the attendees would proceed to use a bat to break open my corpse like a pinata.Confetti and cake would fall from my lifeless body. After enjoying the sweets and thinking the funeral totally rocks my corpse would be place into a coffin along with the prized possesions of everyone in attendace and the coffin along with its contents would be burned.Everyone would be given a note saying “I know my death has taken the only thing matters the most from you ):> It must really hurt now that im(and your most prized possessions)gone. Hmmm thats right you should suffer.And the cake was a lie >:D.-Love,Irielle(From beyond the graaaaave.WhooOOOoooOOo!Spooky.)

Sarah Davidson Says:
June 9th, 2009 at 12:31 am

Upon My death everyone who is close to me would be sent black roses in which an invite to my funeral would be attached. My funeral would be held on the nearest full moon and at 3am at night as this is the most spiritual time of night. Apon arrival everyone would be given a flaming torch and would take there seats on the edge of the windy cliff at my favourite beach in nz. I would be wraped like a mummy and my coffin would be made of fireworks. At the conclusion of the funeral everyone would gather round and light my coffin on fire and I would promptly be sent up in flames and fireworks in the full moon sky. just like how I wana go out with a bang!!! hahha
Hopefully they stand back or itll be their funeral too. lol

NSTNATE Says:
June 9th, 2009 at 1:06 am

I just want my people to be happy.

I went to the funeral of a friend of mine, he died at age 24, and beforehand he had told his people to celebrate, not mourn. Everyone wore party clothing and he himself had on a Hawaiian shirt and a party hat. Sure, people were sad, but we did our best to honor his wishes. I hope that my people will honor my wishes by coming together with those present at my funeral and find new friends and old acquaintances in order to find new happiness. The end of me is not the end of the world. Live, and be happy, because I’m gonna be happy, and not live.

Martina Pet Says:
June 9th, 2009 at 4:32 am

My death and its ensuing funeral should be a quiet but epic event. I would like my body tossed in a freshly dug pit, my chemistry unadulterated by a morticians’ foul fluids and my skin untouched by a pathologist’s cold blade. I want nothing between my body and the dirt, save the clothes I was wearing when I expired. I would like my flesh to provide a feast for those insects so lucky to be harbored close by. Should a wild beast, preferably of the canidae species, happen upon my freshly made grave, I hope they too join the feast. I want like nothing more than my body to be returned to nature, preferably to provide food for her inhabitants.
As for the human need for “closure”, I would like a small gathering, outside the walls of a joyless funeral pallor, perhaps in a park if in the spring, or a café if winter’s reign rules. There should be cupcakes and cookies, espresso (not a single drop of watery American coffee!) and soy milk. Everyone should talk loudly and boisterously about how funny and odd I was, about how much I loved animals and how tho I never quite dressed appropriately for my age, I was always hot enough to carry it off. Lastly, all should make a donation to PETA in lieu of flowers or anything transitorily silly as such. Amen.

FRKNAWESUM Says:
June 9th, 2009 at 1:49 pm

Okay so I agree with a lot of people that a funeral should be like a party. So all the guests would be happy and remember the good times they had with me, which is quite a few since I am so awesome. Being as its a celebration,I would want my funeral to be on the fourth of July, as its like a giant party and it also happens to be my birthday. Of course I’d probably have died some time before, so my body would be cremated and placed in a sparkly, neon urn/box that everyone can adore and that also serves as a slightly tacky but awesome center-piece until the fourth of July. So the day of, everyone I know would head on down to Jones Beach and start partayyying on the special bit of beach I would have reserved for them. Then I would get the Mythbusters (because they are freaking awesome) to figure out some way to incorporate my ashes into fireworks.Then at midnight BOOM and I’d be set off into the sky and explode into a billion dazzling colors that would form a giant portrait of me, looking gorgy-gorge as usual, in the sky for everyone to see. And then I’d have realized three of my life-long dreams in one instant. One, to meet the Mythbusters, two to fly, and three to have everyone adore me and to have a partayyyy. That’s pretty much it!

SpookyDeadGirl Says:
June 9th, 2009 at 2:35 pm

I would want my coffin to be glossy black with red velvety lining. I would be wearing a lovely black leather corset over a crisp white shirt and long black skirt and smart looking dress boots with my arms folded in the traditional way. After the eulogy is read and people stand to begin to look at my cold, dead corpse,a fog machine will slowly release fog while “O Fortuna” starts to play quietly.When the songs gets to the crescendo and the mourners approach my seemingly dead body (which has been mechanically rigged) I will pop out of the casket in a standing postion while my arms thrust forward and look as if they are about to grab the mourners.

theresistance Says:
June 9th, 2009 at 3:42 pm

i would like to be thrown off a cliff into a flowing river and as the current slowed i would like people to sent paper boats with candles down the river with me to shine a light toward heaven

Hilari Says:
June 9th, 2009 at 4:57 pm

I would like to be mummified and entombed in a giant pyramid made by my squirrel army. I like to keep things simple.

kendy Says:
June 9th, 2009 at 5:07 pm

As a child cemeteries and coffins interested me to a odd degree. As I grew up these things still interested me. I never really thought about my own death, only that I wanted to be buried and I always joked that I wanted a marching band to play at my funeral…Don’t ask me why.
In 2003 my sister was out with her friend, a friend who was drinking and driving. My sister died that night due to being in that car at the age of 23. My family decided she would have wanted to be cremated and as we sat there planning my little sister’s – my only siblings funeral my family talked about what we all wanted. My parents including my stepfather bought niches where my sister’s ashes are and I bought a plot a few feet away. My grandma died a few years later and is buried a few feet from my plot.
I never thought about my choice really to be buried until last week when I was visiting my sister with my boyfriend. I showed him all of our resting spots and he asked why I chose burial. I could not answer why and started coming up with reasons such as being cremated means no chance of being a zombie or being being burned frightened me…I ended up sobbing and crying.
I will be 30 at the end of the month (and I sent my boyfriend a link to this site saying pick me out a cool monster for a gift!) and I know I can always sell my plot and choose something else, like green burial as it sweeps open new markets in the future. However right now burial is still my choice.

Podri Says:
June 9th, 2009 at 7:29 pm

naked as the wine world.

Kylo76 Says:
June 9th, 2009 at 8:34 pm

I would like a Tibetan Sky Burial where my family watches vultures eat my rotting corpse on a mountain side then fly away after my bones are picked clean, vultures gotta eat too. Actually I want Iggy Pop to perform my funeral because no matter how old I am that guy will for sure out live everyone and imagine how cool and leathery he will be with his shirt off at my funeral.

Betsy Says:
June 9th, 2009 at 9:34 pm

I want to be cremated. The thought of being buried… Used to absolutely disgust me. I have never really gotten over the gross factor of it…

Instead, I want to be cremated. If I have a spouse, I want him to have a locket with ashes from my heart (since it is one of the last things to burn). The rest of my ashes should be spread to all elementals. The ocean for water, mountains for earth, desert for fire, and anywhere in Tornado Alley for air.
Sounds beautiful to me.

If people want to commemerate or feel better with a ceremony, I want nothing that would make everyone cry. Lots of cupcakes, because that’s what I always bake in times of hardships. And Mountain Dew, for I am a Dew fiend. (That is, if they want to have any “reception” for my passing. I really just want them at peace with it.)

Justin Says:
June 9th, 2009 at 10:09 pm

Two (three?) words – Hovercraft Casket

nikki langness Says:
June 10th, 2009 at 1:07 am

i’m of 2 minds when it comes to how i would like my end to be handled. i’m norwegian on my father’s side & i really like the idea of a viking funeral…that would mean my corpse resting in a small boat on the ocean,and after my family says their goodbyes, at dusk, the boat is set on fire and pushed out to sea. my other wish, because of my deep love of new orleans, is a new orleans jazz funeral…loud & raucus…a parade carrying a shiny blakk casket with chrome handles, the bases of which would in the s of bats as they are my favorite animals. hopefully, this would coincide with the month of october so that my funeral could go past house of shock, leaving my spirit there at house of shock so that every halloween i could scare the crap out of people for all eternity. of course, there is the option…becoming the 1000th happy haunt at the haunted mansion in disneyland.

brushforhire Says:
June 10th, 2009 at 1:49 pm

I always had two different ideas i thought would be awesome.
1.) be lit on fire and and sent flying over the mexican (or canadian) border from a trebuchet.
or
2.) i want to be stuffed and posed like a snarling bear waiting for prey, right inside the front door of my house. I will double as a coat rack.

wendy Says:
June 10th, 2009 at 2:47 pm

for some reason, i’ve thought about this a lot and so far what i’ve decided is that i want a celebration of my life which will include a big fireworks display in which my ashes will be included in. (yes – they can do that..other options were to have my ashes included in a diamond ring or other piece of jewelry, to be blasted into space, etc). So i want my fireworks display and i during the display i want all of my favorite cure songs playing since my robert has always been my soul mate

Joann&Mike Says:
June 11th, 2009 at 6:04 am

Well as for me Mike said I will be Frozen till they can down load my mind in to a robot body lol(So that I can start my evil conquest of world domination in 3 easy steps with 2,000 sub parts). Now as for Mike he wants to be cremated and sent to an ammunition factory and have his ashes places into a few bombs, missiles and tank rounds. And sent to any area of “interest” around the world. And for each one of his “special” ammo that is used a donation of $10,000 will donated in their name to a charity of their choosing(thats the easy part since everyone must account ammunition when they check back in). “Talk about going out with a BANG”.

mistuh_t Says:
June 11th, 2009 at 12:07 pm

After visiting the Capuchin crypt in Rome, Italy a few years ago and getting a chance to speak with one of the modern monks there, I think on my death bed I would like to join the order of the Capuchin monks and donate my bones to the crypt letting my remains become a piece of beautiful art with the thousands of other monks around me.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capuchin_Crypt

AmyB3 Says:
June 11th, 2009 at 2:40 pm

I want to be cremated, placed into a glittery and bejeweled urn, and have a traditional New Orleans jazz funeral. From my first trip to the city to the subsequent visits after, I have fallen in love and have a deep connection to that fabulous place on the planet. Lots of music, lots of food, lots of people, art, and an endlessly rich history; werewolves, vampires, and voodoo. I can’t think of a better final resting place.

mike Says:
June 12th, 2009 at 9:39 pm

Well everyone. I’m not afraid to die, I just don’t want to be around when it happens to me. So hummmm have you guys looked at the sun as of late? As you get up the next day and hold your love ones(or not). Call your F*ckin boss tell’em your “calling in dead/happy”. And you cuss’em out and quit your job. Now go to your fave hang out and watch EVERYONE run to the streets yell “THE END IS NEEEERRRR” and riot. Just watch how many of them will go to the electronic store to steal that 60″ plasma lol. As you do whatever that you will be doing at the moment look to the sky(Ok with a 3×5 card with a tiny hole punched in it so you don’t get blind ok, I gotta look out for your well being). As the screams of the many will be hushed as our Sun goes Super Nova. And I just wanted you to know your more than welcome to blame me. “DAMN YOU MICHAELLLLLL…..” WWWWHAHAHAHAHHAHA.
But just in case it doesn’t happen I have a back up plan with a shinnny red button that will make many many bright nuclear mushrooms. Oh sorry everyone I havnt thought that far in advance on what to do with my body after Im gone.

Lizzy Says:
June 14th, 2009 at 2:36 am

Well, mines based on the ephemeral; I’m a New Orleanian and we know all too well about the tenuousness off everything. It may be why we have a five day feast every year just to make sure we got those in. And the nature of Carnival is so ephemeral it’s a popular day to have your ashes sprinkled into the Mississippi on it’s way to the Deep Waters. Early, at first light- your friends have 16 hours to go…
But another bit of the ephemeral is the moments of a parade; every one knows about beads but any New Orleanian has an ear precisely tuned to the ring of a doubloon hitting the ground. It’s the gold to the jeweled necklaces minions of the gods shower the populace with. (Did you all know the old guy on the first float is a god for a day?) At night a shower of gold coins by torchlight is a magical thing, both the sight and the music as they ring on the streets by the thousands.
So I want to be cremated but good- and mixed into aluminum alloy to strike into a doubloon. I don’t know what design to put on the sides, but something funny and kind of absurd. My profile and some latin on one side, Dum Vivamus Vivamus is a good one. Something really silly on the other? Or a token for a cocktail to drink to me! I’ll be scattered, but I’ll get a last laugh at my funeral. A happy laugh, a very traditional laugh among my people, and at the end of Shrove Tuesday I’ll be a small part of streets lined with jewels and gold for a few hours. Past that, who cares? Life is too short, even the largest of tombs doesn’t stop death. Go out laughing when aluminum hits concrete…
But I might be a hit on Ebay LMAO!! I could visit fabulous places I never dreamed of, be worn as jewelry, be left at temples, or wind up in landfills. I won’t care. But one last parade means a lot to a New Orleans girl.
Have to have a fantastic marching band in front of my float. Good music makes the event.

rustedhalo Says:
June 17th, 2009 at 6:30 pm

At my funeral I want people to celebrate my death and divide all my belongs amongst everyone. No remorse, no crying, only celebration. I want my body to be buried as is with no embalming fluid and all my organs intact. I want to be buried in a glass casket measuring 3′x3′x9′ and buried along side me a sledgehammer. Because I plan on coming back.

Joy Says:
June 20th, 2009 at 8:50 am

I think I’d want my funeral to be like a bad reality tv contest show. The producers would hide my body and give GPS’,shovels, and a golf cart to my friends and family. They would have to find my body, go through several obstacle courses, and maybe perhaps eat bugs all in a certain length of time. The group that arrives to my body first must dig me up return me to my actual grave. Once my body has been returned to its proper place, the winners get all of my possessions and $100,000 plus a contract. After the contest is over, there will be a huge after party (with a Jose Ceurvo fountain) to celebrate my passage into the next life.

sabine(germany) Says:
June 21st, 2009 at 1:55 am

oh my english is bad so hmmmm my funeral i want to wear a black dress and lots of black and white roses all over the ground and all the people that come have to make a big rock n roll party ^.^ i dont want that they cry for me

jamie illuminati Says:
June 21st, 2009 at 10:27 am

upon my death & cremation…

I want my ashes to be baked into homemade loaves of bread… san francisco sour dough… & passed out to all of my loved ones… I would like each person to take me to a different location, someplace in the world that has some significate meaning to us & be fed to the pigeons…

san francisco – the bridge & 1015 folsom street…
novato california – bahia
frederick maryland – downtown – outside the tasting room…
germany – alte post lamme…
bolinas – on the beach…
cabo – mexico…

I would like to be spread out ALL over the world…
POOPED everywhere…

NSTNATE Says:
June 22nd, 2009 at 10:53 pm

Was the winner announced?

Kristin Tercek Says:
June 23rd, 2009 at 7:24 am

Hey everyone! I did pick a winner and was waiting on Jason to give the word on what to do next, but I can’t wait Soooo…..drumroll, please….
Irielle Charles is the winner! and it wasn’t easy, let me tell you. You all did an amazing job but there’s just something about a dead body pinata with cake falling out that had me laughing. And I loved Portal so the fact that the cake was a lie made it even more devilish.
With that feel free to email me with your addy, Irielle, at kt@cuddlyrigormortis.com
Thank you all for playing. Now, stay safe and don’t die too quickly as we’ve a lot of work to do preparing your funerals..heh, heh, heh

KK Says:
June 8th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
First and foremost I want everyone to eat me.

I have been taking reservations on my body parts for a few years. Some people have chosen to eat my heart while others prefer to snort my ashes. The idea is that I am ingested somehow.

So, immediately upon my death I need all of my organs harvested along with any specialty foods like my lips or balls.

I’m guessing there will be a large portion of my husk remaining and for the viewing, those remains are to be positioned in my coffin so that I’m sitting up with my face toward the audience. My eyes are to be propped open and my mouth fixed into a grin.

There will be a recording of myself singing “Feelin’ Good” and no one can wear black.
Kristin Tercek Says:
June 8th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
Thanks so much Jeremy and we will miss your presence here! I hope that everyone has fun with the contest.
Irielle Charles Says:
June 8th, 2009 at 5:17 pm
At my funeral I want to be the best looking person(corpse) there so everyone must come looking their absolute worst. Im the only one who can wear black and everyone else can just wear a unisex burlap potato sack.My empty corpse would be suspended with a few ropes and the attendees would proceed to use a bat to break open my corpse like a pinata.Confetti and cake would fall from my lifeless body. After enjoying the sweets and thinking the funeral totally rocks my corpse would be place into a coffin along with the prized possesions of everyone in attendace and the coffin along with its contents would be burned.Everyone would be given a note saying “I know my death has taken the only thing matters the most from you ):> It must really hurt now that im(and your most prized possessions)gone. Hmmm thats right you should suffer.And the cake was a lie >:D.-Love,Irielle(From beyond the graaaaave.WhooOOOoooOOo!Spooky.)
Sarah Davidson Says:
June 9th, 2009 at 12:31 am
Upon My death everyone who is close to me would be sent black roses in which an invite to my funeral would be attached. My funeral would be held on the nearest full moon and at 3am at night as this is the most spiritual time of night. Apon arrival everyone would be given a flaming torch and would take there seats on the edge of the windy cliff at my favourite beach in nz. I would be wraped like a mummy and my coffin would be made of fireworks. At the conclusion of the funeral everyone would gather round and light my coffin on fire and I would promptly be sent up in flames and fireworks in the full moon sky. just like how I wana go out with a bang!!! hahha
Hopefully they stand back or itll be their funeral too. lol
NSTNATE Says:
June 9th, 2009 at 1:06 am
I just want my people to be happy.

I went to the funeral of a friend of mine, he died at age 24, and beforehand he had told his people to celebrate, not mourn. Everyone wore party clothing and he himself had on a Hawaiian shirt and a party hat. Sure, people were sad, but we did our best to honor his wishes. I hope that my people will honor my wishes by coming together with those present at my funeral and find new friends and old acquaintances in order to find new happiness. The end of me is not the end of the world. Live, and be happy, because I’m gonna be happy, and not live.
Martina Pet Says:
June 9th, 2009 at 4:32 am
My death and its ensuing funeral should be a quiet but epic event. I would like my body tossed in a freshly dug pit, my chemistry unadulterated by a morticians’ foul fluids and my skin untouched by a pathologist’s cold blade. I want nothing between my body and the dirt, save the clothes I was wearing when I expired. I would like my flesh to provide a feast for those insects so lucky to be harbored close by. Should a wild beast, preferably of the canidae species, happen upon my freshly made grave, I hope they too join the feast. I want like nothing more than my body to be returned to nature, preferably to provide food for her inhabitants.
As for the human need for “closure”, I would like a small gathering, outside the walls of a joyless funeral pallor, perhaps in a park if in the spring, or a café if winter’s reign rules. There should be cupcakes and cookies, espresso (not a single drop of watery American coffee!) and soy milk. Everyone should talk loudly and boisterously about how funny and odd I was, about how much I loved animals and how tho I never quite dressed appropriately for my age, I was always hot enough to carry it off. Lastly, all should make a donation to PETA in lieu of flowers or anything transitorily silly as such. Amen.
FRKNAWESUM Says:
June 9th, 2009 at 1:49 pm
Okay so I agree with a lot of people that a funeral should be like a party. So all the guests would be happy and remember the good times they had with me, which is quite a few since I am so awesome. Being as its a celebration,I would want my funeral to be on the fourth of July, as its like a giant party and it also happens to be my birthday. Of course I’d probably have died some time before, so my body would be cremated and placed in a sparkly, neon urn/box that everyone can adore and that also serves as a slightly tacky but awesome center-piece until the fourth of July. So the day of, everyone I know would head on down to Jones Beach and start partayyying on the special bit of beach I would have reserved for them. Then I would get the Mythbusters (because they are freaking awesome) to figure out some way to incorporate my ashes into fireworks.Then at midnight BOOM and I’d be set off into the sky and explode into a billion dazzling colors that would form a giant portrait of me, looking gorgy-gorge as usual, in the sky for everyone to see. And then I’d have realized three of my life-long dreams in one instant. One, to meet the Mythbusters, two to fly, and three to have everyone adore me and to have a partayyyy. That’s pretty much it!
SpookyDeadGirl Says:
June 9th, 2009 at 2:35 pm
I would want my coffin to be glossy black with red velvety lining. I would be wearing a lovely black leather corset over a crisp white shirt and long black skirt and smart looking dress boots with my arms folded in the traditional way. After the eulogy is read and people stand to begin to look at my cold, dead corpse,a fog machine will slowly release fog while “O Fortuna” starts to play quietly.When the songs gets to the crescendo and the mourners approach my seemingly dead body (which has been mechanically rigged) I will pop out of the casket in a standing postion while my arms thrust forward and look as if they are about to grab the mourners.
theresistance Says:
June 9th, 2009 at 3:42 pm
i would like to be thrown off a cliff into a flowing river and as the current slowed i would like people to sent paper boats with candles down the river with me to shine a light toward heaven
Hilari Says:
June 9th, 2009 at 4:57 pm
I would like to be mummified and entombed in a giant pyramid made by my squirrel army. I like to keep things simple.
kendy Says:
June 9th, 2009 at 5:07 pm
As a child cemeteries and coffins interested me to a odd degree. As I grew up these things still interested me. I never really thought about my own death, only that I wanted to be buried and I always joked that I wanted a marching band to play at my funeral…Don’t ask me why.
In 2003 my sister was out with her friend, a friend who was drinking and driving. My sister died that night due to being in that car at the age of 23. My family decided she would have wanted to be cremated and as we sat there planning my little sister’s – my only siblings funeral my family talked about what we all wanted. My parents including my stepfather bought niches where my sister’s ashes are and I bought a plot a few feet away. My grandma died a few years later and is buried a few feet from my plot.
I never thought about my choice really to be buried until last week when I was visiting my sister with my boyfriend. I showed him all of our resting spots and he asked why I chose burial. I could not answer why and started coming up with reasons such as being cremated means no chance of being a zombie or being being burned frightened me…I ended up sobbing and crying.
I will be 30 at the end of the month (and I sent my boyfriend a link to this site saying pick me out a cool monster for a gift!) and I know I can always sell my plot and choose something else, like green burial as it sweeps open new markets in the future. However right now burial is still my choice.
Podri Says:
June 9th, 2009 at 7:29 pm
naked as the wine world.
Kylo76 Says:
June 9th, 2009 at 8:34 pm
I would like a Tibetan Sky Burial where my family watches vultures eat my rotting corpse on a mountain side then fly away after my bones are picked clean, vultures gotta eat too. Actually I want Iggy Pop to perform my funeral because no matter how old I am that guy will for sure out live everyone and imagine how cool and leathery he will be with his shirt off at my funeral.
Betsy Says:
June 9th, 2009 at 9:34 pm
I want to be cremated. The thought of being buried… Used to absolutely disgust me. I have never really gotten over the gross factor of it…

Instead, I want to be cremated. If I have a spouse, I want him to have a locket with ashes from my heart (since it is one of the last things to burn). The rest of my ashes should be spread to all elementals. The ocean for water, mountains for earth, desert for fire, and anywhere in Tornado Alley for air.
Sounds beautiful to me.

If people want to commemerate or feel better with a ceremony, I want nothing that would make everyone cry. Lots of cupcakes, because that’s what I always bake in times of hardships. And Mountain Dew, for I am a Dew fiend. (That is, if they want to have any “reception” for my passing. I really just want them at peace with it.)
Justin Says:
June 9th, 2009 at 10:09 pm
Two (three?) words – Hovercraft Casket
nikki langness Says:
June 10th, 2009 at 1:07 am
i’m of 2 minds when it comes to how i would like my end to be handled. i’m norwegian on my father’s side & i really like the idea of a viking funeral…that would mean my corpse resting in a small boat on the ocean,and after my family says their goodbyes, at dusk, the boat is set on fire and pushed out to sea. my other wish, because of my deep love of new orleans, is a new orleans jazz funeral…loud & raucus…a parade carrying a shiny blakk casket with chrome handles, the bases of which would in the s of bats as they are my favorite animals. hopefully, this would coincide with the month of october so that my funeral could go past house of shock, leaving my spirit there at house of shock so that every halloween i could scare the crap out of people for all eternity. of course, there is the option…becoming the 1000th happy haunt at the haunted mansion in disneyland.
brushforhire Says:
June 10th, 2009 at 1:49 pm
I always had two different ideas i thought would be awesome.
1.) be lit on fire and and sent flying over the mexican (or canadian) border from a trebuchet.
or
2.) i want to be stuffed and posed like a snarling bear waiting for prey, right inside the front door of my house. I will double as a coat rack.
wendy Says:
June 10th, 2009 at 2:47 pm
for some reason, i’ve thought about this a lot and so far what i’ve decided is that i want a celebration of my life which will include a big fireworks display in which my ashes will be included in. (yes – they can do that..other options were to have my ashes included in a diamond ring or other piece of jewelry, to be blasted into space, etc). So i want my fireworks display and i during the display i want all of my favorite cure songs playing since my robert has always been my soul mate
Joann&Mike Says:
June 11th, 2009 at 6:04 am
Well as for me Mike said I will be Frozen till they can down load my mind in to a robot body lol(So that I can start my evil conquest of world domination in 3 easy steps with 2,000 sub parts). Now as for Mike he wants to be cremated and sent to an ammunition factory and have his ashes places into a few bombs, missiles and tank rounds. And sent to any area of “interest” around the world. And for each one of his “special” ammo that is used a donation of $10,000 will donated in their name to a charity of their choosing(thats the easy part since everyone must account ammunition when they check back in). “Talk about going out with a BANG”.
mistuh_t Says:
June 11th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
After visiting the Capuchin crypt in Rome, Italy a few years ago and getting a chance to speak with one of the modern monks there, I think on my death bed I would like to join the order of the Capuchin monks and donate my bones to the crypt letting my remains become a piece of beautiful art with the thousands of other monks around me.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Capuchin_Crypt
AmyB3 Says:
June 11th, 2009 at 2:40 pm
I want to be cremated, placed into a glittery and bejeweled urn, and have a traditional New Orleans jazz funeral. From my first trip to the city to the subsequent visits after, I have fallen in love and have a deep connection to that fabulous place on the planet. Lots of music, lots of food, lots of people, art, and an endlessly rich history; werewolves, vampires, and voodoo. I can’t think of a better final resting place.
mike Says:
June 12th, 2009 at 9:39 pm
Well everyone. I’m not afraid to die, I just don’t want to be around when it happens to me. So hummmm have you guys looked at the sun as of late? As you get up the next day and hold your love ones(or not). Call your F*ckin boss tell’em your “calling in dead/happy”. And you cuss’em out and quit your job. Now go to your fave hang out and watch EVERYONE run to the streets yell “THE END IS NEEEERRRR” and riot. Just watch how many of them will go to the electronic store to steal that 60″ plasma lol. As you do whatever that you will be doing at the moment look to the sky(Ok with a 3×5 card with a tiny hole punched in it so you don’t get blind ok, I gotta look out for your well being). As the screams of the many will be hushed as our Sun goes Super Nova. And I just wanted you to know your more than welcome to blame me. “DAMN YOU MICHAELLLLLL…..” WWWWHAHAHAHAHHAHA.
But just in case it doesn’t happen I have a back up plan with a shinnny red button that will make many many bright nuclear mushrooms. Oh sorry everyone I havnt thought that far in advance on what to do with my body after Im gone.
Lizzy Says:
June 14th, 2009 at 2:36 am
Well, mines based on the ephemeral; I’m a New Orleanian and we know all too well about the tenuousness off everything. It may be why we have a five day feast every year just to make sure we got those in. And the nature of Carnival is so ephemeral it’s a popular day to have your ashes sprinkled into the Mississippi on it’s way to the Deep Waters. Early, at first light- your friends have 16 hours to go…
But another bit of the ephemeral is the moments of a parade; every one knows about beads but any New Orleanian has an ear precisely tuned to the ring of a doubloon hitting the ground. It’s the gold to the jeweled necklaces minions of the gods shower the populace with. (Did you all know the old guy on the first float is a god for a day?) At night a shower of gold coins by torchlight is a magical thing, both the sight and the music as they ring on the streets by the thousands.
So I want to be cremated but good- and mixed into aluminum alloy to strike into a doubloon. I don’t know what design to put on the sides, but something funny and kind of absurd. My profile and some latin on one side, Dum Vivamus Vivamus is a good one. Something really silly on the other? Or a token for a cocktail to drink to me! I’ll be scattered, but I’ll get a last laugh at my funeral. A happy laugh, a very traditional laugh among my people, and at the end of Shrove Tuesday I’ll be a small part of streets lined with jewels and gold for a few hours. Past that, who cares? Life is too short, even the largest of tombs doesn’t stop death. Go out laughing when aluminum hits concrete…
But I might be a hit on Ebay LMAO!! I could visit fabulous places I never dreamed of, be worn as jewelry, be left at temples, or wind up in landfills. I won’t care. But one last parade means a lot to a New Orleans girl.
Have to have a fantastic marching band in front of my float. Good music makes the event.
rustedhalo Says:
June 17th, 2009 at 6:30 pm
At my funeral I want people to celebrate my death and divide all my belongs amongst everyone. No remorse, no crying, only celebration. I want my body to be buried as is with no embalming fluid and all my organs intact. I want to be buried in a glass casket measuring 3′x3′x9′ and buried along side me a sledgehammer. Because I plan on coming back.
Joy Says:
June 20th, 2009 at 8:50 am
I think I’d want my funeral to be like a bad reality tv contest show. The producers would hide my body and give GPS’,shovels, and a golf cart to my friends and family. They would have to find my body, go through several obstacle courses, and maybe perhaps eat bugs all in a certain length of time. The group that arrives to my body first must dig me up return me to my actual grave. Once my body has been returned to its proper place, the winners get all of my possessions and $100,000 plus a contract. After the contest is over, there will be a huge after party (with a Jose Ceurvo fountain) to celebrate my passage into the next life.
sabine(germany) Says:
June 21st, 2009 at 1:55 am
oh my english is bad so hmmmm my funeral i want to wear a black dress and lots of black and white roses all over the ground and all the people that come have to make a big rock n roll party ^.^ i dont want that they cry for me
jamie illuminati Says:
June 21st, 2009 at 10:27 am
upon my death & cremation…

I want my ashes to be baked into homemade loaves of bread… san francisco sour dough… & passed out to all of my loved ones… I would like each person to take me to a different location, someplace in the world that has some significate meaning to us & be fed to the pigeons…

san francisco – the bridge & 1015 folsom street…
novato california – bahia
frederick maryland – downtown – outside the tasting room…
germany – alte post lamme…
bolinas – on the beach…
cabo – mexico…

I would like to be spread out ALL over the world…
POOPED everywhere…
NSTNATE Says:
June 22nd, 2009 at 10:53 pm
Was the winner announced?
Kristin Tercek Says:
June 23rd, 2009 at 7:24 am
Hey everyone! I did pick a winner and was waiting on Jason to give the word on what to do next, but I can’t wait Soooo…..drumroll, please….
Irielle Charles is the winner! and it wasn’t easy, let me tell you. You all did an amazing job but there’s just something about a dead body pinata with cake falling out that had me laughing. And I loved Portal so the fact that the cake was a lie made it even more devilish.
With that feel free to email me with your addy, Irielle, at kt@cuddlyrigormortis.com
Thank you all for playing. Now, stay safe and don’t die too quickly as we’ve a lot of work to do preparing your funerals..heh, heh, heh